The Doctor Will See You…In Your Nightmares

Coventry Mall in Pottstown, PA seems an odd place to find a Haunted House, let alone a very good Haunted House, but it is where I found Terror Labs and its CEO (let’s call him a Certified Evil Operator), Dr. Sawyer T. Bones III. A descendant of Dr. Heinrich von Bonesmacher and lead researcher in gene manipulation, Dr. Bones runs his evil laboratory in the U.S. after being run out of England. Or so the legend goes.

Terror Labs occupies a storefront inside the mall near the food court and is in its second year of operation. The Haunt is donating 10% of its proceeds to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. The back story sets a tongue in cheek tone that carries over into the Haunt itself. Perhaps because the Haunt doesn’t take itself too seriously, may be the formula that makes the horror inside work so well. There is a balance struck between putting patrons at ease enough to catch them off guard long enough to ratchet up the terror in a matter of moments and then surprise them. This is done effectively over and over throughout the attraction.

After purchasing our admission we were ushered into a dimly lit waiting room where the terror began as we quickly realized we were listening to piped – in, elevator music. After getting comfortable in the waiting room for a few minutes we were greeted by the mad doctor himself who then ushered us into his office. No detail is left unfinished in this theatrically staged scene. His experiment, Charlie, was in a bowl on the table. He was also in jars and test tubes. And Dr. Bones kept the conversation flowing in the most professionally evil manner you would expect from a man of despicable medicine. “Your eyes are beautiful,” he told one member of our party. “May I have them,” he asked removing a tablespoon from his pocket. “Never mind,” he continued waving her off. “It’s easier to take them when the head is detached from the body.” Dr. Bones continued his rapid fire assessment of our party’s fate and opened the way to the darkened depths of Terror Labs. “The rats chewed through the electrical wiring so it’s a little dark in there. But feel along the walls to find your way. If you feel anything gooey, it’s just the people who went in before you.”

It was clear that this Haunt was something not seen in a very long time in this area. This was the type of Haunted House popularized by Jersey shore classics that thrived decades ago, namely Castle Dracula and Brigantine Castle. By the end, I’d find out why.

We moved into the operating room where we met Dr. Gruesome in the middle of her surgical experiments and then into the lunchroom. Drop doors and well timed startles worked perfectly throughout the attraction. No unnecessary screaming from the actors, no revving chainsaws, no twisted clowns. Just good old fashioned, themed terror. For only the third time this season, the Count was startled and, I admit freely, jumped fairly high.

At the end, I had a moment to converse with Dr. Bones before he had to return to his mad experiments and victims…I mean, patients.

Dr. Bones was none other than Count Dracula from Castle Dracula back in 1983 and ’84. “There’s nothing like the Castle,” he told me. “So we wanted to model the scenes here after it.” Not surprisingly he also worked in the mad scientist area of the Castle for a short time, also. His homage to his old haunting grounds is clearly a labor of love and works very well in the new atmosphere he’s created.

Terror Labs is in its second year, and as we close in on the end of Haunt Season 2017 don’t be surprised if it is Count Kenula’s pick for Best New Haunt. The admission is $15. I would love to see this attraction expand and become bigger with more scenes and actors. For now Terror Labs is creating an experiment in haunting that will give you a chilling experience and leave you wanting more from Dr. Bones and his diabolical staff of maniacs. If you are looking for some refreshing scares, and perhaps a nostalgic trip back to the days of themed and staged Haunted Houses, make your way to the Lab. The doctor is waiting to see you….in your nightmares.

Terror Labs is located inside the Coventry Mall at 351 W. Schuylkill Rd, Pottstown, PA 19465.